Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize