I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize