That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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