After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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