So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize