We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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