my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize