Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize