Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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