After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize