I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize