i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
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I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Will exercising make me less horny?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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