Cold hands, warm shart.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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