That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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