My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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