so that wasnt chicken after all
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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