just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize