it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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