I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize