another moral hangover. fuck.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
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And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just blew my weed a kiss
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At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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