On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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