so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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