kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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