have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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