On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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