I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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