I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
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He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
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If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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