You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize