96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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