Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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