M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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