I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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