she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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