I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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