omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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