I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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