I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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