You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize