yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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