you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize