She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize