It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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