I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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