You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize