Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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