I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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