all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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