I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We left an ass print on the piano.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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