Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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