Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize