at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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