Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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